I Know What Boys Like

We do a little thing every spring where we create two-week's worth of phony holidays to celebrate at work. It's silly stuff about wearing fake tattoos and building make-your-own sundaes and such - fluff, basically, to keep morale up during what is traditionally a bit of a slump during the year. We all share a laugh and blow off steam by being just a little bit silly. 

All but one of us, that is.

I got word through the grapevine that someone in our office got his undies in a big ol' bundle and went after one of our own. His complaint: the holidays we'd chosen were too girly. Sure, Wear No Make-Up Day is decidedly feminine, but we had actually gone out of our way to make sure that nine of the ten days on the calendar were friendly to both genders. (Office demographics: over 20 women, 4 men). 

Hearing about his tirade motivated me to take down our current calendar and replace it with ...

March Man-ness

A Celebration of Straight, White Male Stereotypes

Monday, March 23rd - Bitch About the Dumbass Women You Work With Day

Tuesday, March 24th - Bodily Function Jousting Tournament

Wednesday, March 25th - Talk About Your Car Day

Thursday, March 26th - Malt Liquor and Porn Day

Friday, March 27th - Scratch Where It Itches Day

Monday, March 30th - Eat Cookies the Dumbass Women You Work With Baked Day

Tuesday, March 31st - JARTS, Anyone?

Wednesday, April 1st - Homophobic Comment Day

Thursday, April 2nd - Tater Tot Festival

Friday, April 3rd - Wear That Sexy Cologne You Bought at Walgreen's Day

Party on, Dudes!

(And just 'cause I'm on a forgiveness kick doesn't mean I'm not allowed to get pissed off once in a while. So no bitching about that. Consider yourself warned.)