When I'm brushing his back: "Oh, you're petting me with the brush again. I'm going to stand here majestically like a good boy, glancing over my shoulder at you from time to time so you can appreciate my sweet, soulful eyes."
When I'm brushing the top of his head, right between the ears: "I don't like when you tug at those tangles behind my left ear, but as long as you pause now and then to pet me and tell me I'm good, I'll put up with it. I might need to take a shake-my-head break every few minutes, though, okay?"
When I'm brushing his ruff: "Remember that episode of America's Next Top Model when Tyra Banks showed how to hold your head up and look like you're standing in front of a fan when you aren't? Well, I was paying attention to that part, and I'm doing it right now. Cool, huh?"
When I'm brushing his paws: "Don't touch those. No, give that back. Ick. Ick. Ick."
When I'm brushing his legs: "I don't like this, but it's better than the paws, so I'm just going to look peeved at you every thirty seconds or so. Work quickly."
When I'm brushing his butt: "I'm going to give you about ten seconds of awkward gluteal clenching in recognition of the fact that you feed me and stuff. Then I'm out of here, lady."
1 comments:
Hilarious. :)
June 18, 2009 at 10:41 AMPost a Comment