You Disappoint Me

Maybe it's the cloudy weather, mid-life hormonal fluctuations, or an increase in solar flare activity, but, lately, a lot of things seem to be making me feel really down in the dumps. I'm typically a pretty upbeat (and sarcastic) person, but I've lost that lovin' feeling in recent weeks. 

Here's my list of things that I'm currently disappointed about/in:

• Back in late-April, I set a modest weight loss goal of seven pounds by the end of the school year. Tomorrow is the last day, and I have lost a whopping total of two pounds. Am I exercising more? Yes. Eating more fruits and vegetables? Uh-huh. Making fewer trips through the drive-through? You bet. 

Still, only two pounds have been shed.

I feel like my Real Age "weight loss tracker" graph is mocking me.

Major lifestyle modifications will need to be made. This will be harder than I thought.

I detest setting goals and not achieving them. Very disappointing. 

•  U.S. government agencies are not good at communicating with one another, so we are fewer than three weeks away from getting on the plane for Tokyo and STILL don't have a passport for our daughter. 

We applied seven weeks ago and were assured that it would take about three weeks tops. This week they sent us a letter saying we need to prove that our daughter - an adoptee - entered the country legally before they can process the paperwork. 

The original passport application called for two pieces of documentation - both of which we provided, neither of which could be obtained without proving legal resident status. Not good enough, though. So, we had no choice but to honor their latest demand and Express Mail it to them. Fingers crossed they can process it in time. 

•  The school year is almost over. Even though I love summer vacation, I always go through a bit of a funk when school lets out. I like working with so many people I consider my friends. I enjoy the work I do. I am oddly comforted by the routine of it all. And I suck at good-byes. 

Each spring I go into the last weeks of school with some sort of amnesia of years past and fully expect it to be fun - fun - fun. I forget that the atmosphere in the building can get so emotionally-charged. That there's so much to be done and, sometimes, not enough energy to do it. 

Maybe the memories of the last days of school from my elementary years are so firmly imprinted on my brain that I expect to feel that way again. But it's different now. And that's a little disappointing. 

• The Fashion Show isn't even a pale imitation of Project Runway. I crave Tim Gunn's wisdom and Heidi Klum's accent. I long to hear Nina Garcia use the phrase "taste issues". I only made it through two episodes of TFS before I just plain stopped caring. Between this and The Real Housewives of New Jersey, I'm losing my faith in Bravo, the network that used to be my happy source of background noise. It has been my default channel for a couple years now, but, lately, I find myself flipping channels a lot. My only ray of Bravo hope is Top Chef: Masters. Again, fingers crossed.

• Mostly, I am disappointed that I'm letting the little things get so far under my skin. I acknowledge that the big things in my life - family, health, career - are all going well. I could be dealing with far bigger things than these, but, even after accentuating the positive, I still feel stuck in a rut of ennui. Ho hum.