It's September, and I Suck

Tonight, as I snarfed down the "stress meal" that is the Wendy's Junior Bacon Cheeseburger with a side of Frosty, I realized that I loathe September.

Not just this September, either.

I mean ALL Septembers are on my shit list.

The reason for my extreme ill-will towards this month is simple: It is the month in which I suck on a grand scale. And the source of all this sucking is none other than the beginning of a new school year.

Now, I've been through this MANY times, so you'd think I'd have it down. But I don't. So here I am again, trapped in a swirl of frustration and stress. I pondered the reasons why this time of year always hits me so hard and makes me, a usually calm person, feel so utterly overwhelmed.

And why is it that I seem to suck so hard at so many things right now, when I normally don't really suck that much at all?

It's because I've lost some things that I'd forgotten to appreciate - and I miss them dearly.

The Stuff I'm Mourning

• Knowing  my Students' Names  In the excitement of the end of the school year in June, I forget how nice it is to be in a room where we all know one another - names, pets, hidden talents, shared experiences. Developing those bonds with this year's batch of kids takes time, and right now it just feels like I spend my days in a room full of strangers.

• Puttering in the Kitchen  In the summer, I spent hours chopping fresh fruits and vegetables, trying new recipes, and putting together meals at a leisurely pace = usually while listening to music and singing along (occasionally dancing too - but less often and never with sharp utensils). Cooking was my quality relaxation time. Now it's about rushing to get something on the dinner table and packing my lunches in a zombie-like trance.

• Morning Walks  Nothing beats the AM constitutional for me. But there's no way in hell I'm getting up at 4 o'clock to take one. The evening walk pales by comparison - more traffic, hotter weather, and fewer ducks bobbing contentedly on the lake.

• Being an Awesome Mom  I know that the physically/emotionally burned-out days of September shall pass, but it bugs me to find myself wishing my daughter would fall asleep a bit earlier, stop continually following me all around the house, stop asking so many questions, etc. In the summer, I have so much more to give. And I do give it. To her.

•  Brain-Numbing Television  I haven't watched a "marathon" of anything in almost three weeks. No wonder I'm cranky.

• Blogging  I've had many blog-worthy moments but lacked the energy to put them to words.

At least September's only one of those thirty-day months.