And I Quote

Yes, I teach at a midwestern middle school.

Among all the other glorious craziness that comes with working with adolescents is the need for constant vigilance to make sure their t-shirts are appropriate.

Since I've been teaching for quite a few years, I've weathered the "Co-Ed Naked" years, the "Big Johnson" craze, and even the hoopla that was "Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy".

I've awkwardly explained to a naive twelve-year old girl what her "Co-Ed Nighttime Football Practice: Bring Your Own Equipment" shirt referred to, and one of my female colleagues once had to educate a sixth grade ESL student as to what exactly his "Beavers" shirt was talking about. (He didn't believe her and sweetly insisted, "No, it's an animal.")

My most recent discussion was with a seventh grade boy wearing a "Check Out My Stimulus Package" t-shirt. At least it was timely. And perhaps indicated that he watches the news.

We all roll our eyes and vent, "Why do their parents let them wear these things?! I would never let my kid walk around in that!"

But maybe we need to take a little of the blame in this.

My evidence -

A List of Songs with Inappropriate Lyrics That Have Been Played School-Wide on Our  "Wake Up, Wakefield"-esque Show and Were Probably Chosen by the Adult Supervising the Program

1. AC/DC's "You Shook Me All Night Long"

She was a fast machine

She kept her motor clean

She was the best damn woman that I ever seen

She had the sightless eyes

Telling me no lies

Knockin' me out with those American thighs

Yes, that's the part of the song they played. 

I stood in my darkened homeroom, mouth agape in disbelief as it blared through the speakers.

And I'm not even a prude or anything.

2.  Def Leppard's "Pour Some Sugar on Me"
Step inside, walk this way

You and me babe, Hey, hey!

Love is like a bomb, baby, c'mon get it on

Livin' like a lover with a radar phone

Lookin' like a tramp, like a video vamp

Demolition woman, can I be your man?

Razzle 'n' a dazzle 'n' a flash a little light

Television lover, baby, go all night

Sometime, anytime, sugar me sweet

Little miss ah innocent sugar me, yeah.

Another classic for the twelve-year old set, yes?

And a great opportunity to discuss metaphor as well.

Jolly good!

3.  Semisonic's "Closing Time"

Okay, it was on the last day of school, so I get why the song was chosen, and I can even overlook the "finish your whiskey or beer" part since I LOVE this band, but it was a bit disconcerting to hear the kids strolling out of homeroom singing, "I know who I want to take me home..." Just felt wrong, yanno.

4. Naughty By Nature's "O.P.P."

Don't panic. 

We didn't listen to the actual song for this one. 

It was a bus safety video that was desperately trying to be hip by having rap music in it. 

Seriously.

They sang, "You down with bus safety? Yeah, you know me!" over and over while I died in the back of my classroom.

At the time, I don't think there was a dirtier song out there.

Still, they chose it.

I do kinda love that guys from Naughty By Nature got royalty checks for an educational video, though.