... I have read only one book this summer. It was a diet book. And I didn't finish it.
... I need an inordinate amount of "me time".
... when Ace of Bass comes on the radio, I turn it up and sing along. I know all the words.
... I knew there was dog pee on the carpeting, but I really wanted to check my email and eat lunch, so I did those things first and let it soak in a bit longer.
... I'm starting to think that buying beige carpeting was a bad idea.
... I'm better at forgiving the dog than I am at forgiving people.
... I am looking forward to going back to work - but not necessarily to seeing everyone.
... I'm pissed at Austin's mom for putting a chastising little note in my daughter's cubby, reminding us we need to RSVP for her son's birthday party, even if we're not coming. Like she's Emily Fucking Post. And like I've ever met her or could even pick her kid out of a line-up.
... I can be petty.
... I screen.
... I feel all giddy about how clean my teeth are after I use my Waterpik.
... I hid Chutes & Ladders because I can't stand playing it.
... I can't put the apples and bananas in the fruit bowl unless I tear off those ugly stickers first. I turn the pears so their stickers don't show.
... I inflate my self-esteem by judging people in the supermarket based on what they have in their carts. I know that I am superior to anyone buying a Swanson's frozen dinner, and I roll my eyes at the Lean Cuisine people.
... when something stressful happens, my first instinct is to drive to the bakery and buy a cupcake.
... I am a praise junkie.
... I paid $2.99 to watch Fast Times at Ridgemont High on pay-per-view instead of finishing up the painting in the kitchen. Judge Reinhold rocks.
1 comments:
Gosh, you're hilarious. I miss you!
August 20, 2009 at 3:37 PMPost a Comment